didn't have time to clean up... off to the beaches ;)

THE ART OF CONTAINMENT

Containment is the term Yogi Bhajan uses to refer to our ability to go inside ourselves and hold our own energy in our consciousness. To contain ourselves, we have to become emotionally available to ourselves. We have to
stay present to what we are feeling and feel the sensations and the resistance in our bodies. We have to stay present and allow what we are feeling without judgment. We have to befriend and love our feelings.

Wehave to develop an intimate, compassionate relationship with our feelings. We have to become one with all aspects of ourselves.

While the Sun is in Cancer, from June 21 through July 21 is an
opportune
time to cultivate containment. Cancer demands emotional maturity. And
there is no shortcut for attaining emotional adulthood. Containment is
how
we cultivate emotional stability on a very organic level. It can seem
like
tedious work. However, the conscious discipline and dedication
required
have big payoffs. Through containment we become emotionally available
to
ourselves. When we are emotionally available to ourselves, we can be
emotionally available to others. We can attract emotionally available
relationships and experience true intimacy. When are able to contain
ourselves, we don't lose ourselves in relationship. Losing ourselves
in
partnership is the number one cause of disappearing relationships.


CONTAINMENT GUIDELINES

How do we do contain ourselves? Everyone develops their own unique
formula,
but here are some guidelines that are useful.

1. Close your eyes and look inside until you realize that you are in a
space. It is often a dark velvety place. Sometimes there is light.
Light
or dark is not important. Just be in there. Don't interpret or
explain
what you are experiencing. Train yourself to go to and stay in this
space.

2. Feel your skin. Feel the air on your skin. Feel yourself inside
your
skin. Feel your space inside your skin. Train yourself to stay in
your
space, inside your skin.

3. Feel the sensations in your body. Go from one part of your body to
another. Feel the parts of your body that you resist staying with.
Keep
staying with these sensations, allowing them and loving them. Train
yourself to stay with the sensations in your body, inside your skin, in
your
space.

4. Notice how your sensations shift with different thoughts and
emotions.
Train yourself to stay present to shifts in mood. Train yourself to
notice
how and why your sensations change.

5. You can impact and raise your energy by pulling rootlock. (very
lightly
pull in the navel center as you pull the muscles at the base of the
spine
and sex organ.) (www.kundaliniyoga.org/bhandas.html)

Be sure to let go and relax to feel the effect. If you concentrate too
much
on the "doing" of rootlock, you will pull yourself out of simply being
in
your own space and being present to your feelings and sensations.
Observe
the difference between allowing and controlling. The body and mind act
and
react in very distinct ways in these two modes.


OUR INNER FAMILY

Cancer embodies the archetype of family. The first family that we must
pay
attention to is our inner family. Much has been written about the need
to
heal and parent our inner child. The process of containment gives us
the
tools to connect at a non-verbal level with the emotional imprints that
we
acquired as a young child. One of the tricks of working with and
healing
our inner child is to connect at a non-verbal level. Then we can
figure out
where the pain and the separation really come from.

I have found out from working with myself and others that the pain
comes
from our separation from ourselves. At some point in our childhood, we
had
an experience(s) that knocked us out of relationship with ourselves and
our
connection with the Infinite. We stopped feeling loved. We stopped
loving
ourselves. We have to get in touch with this experience(s), so that we
do
not continue to base our inner reality on it and recreate it in
relationships. The source of many of our relationship issues is that
we
unconsciously cling to this childhood trauma as a model for love. It
is a
self-sabotaging illusion upon which we build our relationships. No
wonder
most of our relationships are riddled with problems and end in
separation.

Releasing the illusion that separation and pain is love and healing our
inner child involves (1) getting in touch with our non-verbal feelings,
(2)
identifying the original experiences that generated our programmed
responses, (3) clarifying why we cling to them (what were we trying to
get
back then?), (4) energetically giving our inner child what it needs
that it
did not get back then (parenting our inner child), so that we can (5)
let go
of the imprints that keep creating more pain and separation.


FROM SEPARATION TO CONNECTION

We hold on to our illusions because we believe that if we let go, we
will
not survive. That is why we have lived in pain so many years. We do not
have
to continue to create our lives from past wounds. To change our
operating
system, we must internally heal our inner child by recreating the love,
attention and compassion that it felt cut off from. This is done by
self-love and by connecting with a higher source of love. As an adult
we
can create a conscious spiritual connection with the Divine. Our own
attention to our emotions and our spiritual connection replace the love
of
the lost parent and the forsaken God.

It is our own self-love and choice to take action to meet our inner
child's
needs that gives our inner child the confidence that his/her needs will
now
be met. I found that my inner child was angry because it felt no one
stood
up and took action for it. When I decide to take action for something
I
need in the moment, my emotions (inner child) calm right down.

Our connection with a higher Source is what ultimately heals all our
wounds.
Our identification with the Divine heals all feelings of separation and
creates a basis for surrender and trust that many find impossible if
they
view God as a force completely outside themselves.

One of the things that happens when we go back to the source of our
separation is that we see the truth of the situation. Inevitably there
was
a misunderstanding about being loved. We find out that the person that
we
felt abandoned us, only did so in the mind of our child. In reality he
or
she was too preoccupied with his or her pain or situation to pay
attention
to us. I found that when I got in touch with this truth, the players
who I
falsely believed all those years abandoned me, started communicating
with me
how much they loved me. I did the work internally and never discussed
it
with them, but they picked up on my shift. It is very heart-warming to
get
these confirmations of the success of our internal work.

Bringing our spiritual connection to love and nurture our child
consolidates
our healing. When we (our inner child) are emotionally confident that
we
will get our needs met and that we are loved and cared for by our inner
parent and a higher power, we acquire the strength and the trust to
move
through our life challenges. We don't cling to relationships that do
not
serve us because we have replaced the model of pain and separation with
that
of caring and connection. We can attract what we want instead of being
drawn to what we really don't want. And we can transform unsatisfying
relationships into emotionally available ones. There are so many ways
that
the old can die and the new can be reborn.


RECREATING REALITY

I find that getting in touch with the reality that I was never
abandoned and
that no one ever really cut love off from me including God, helps me
accept
things how they are in the moment. When we feel unloved or abandoned,
we
don't want to accept reality. When we live in denial in one aspect of
our
lives, we recreate denial in other areas. Denial becomes a mindset.
We end
up living in illusions that we hope will protect us from our pain. We
struggle to avoid reality when it only confirms our pain. It is easier
to
accept things the way they are when our mindset is founded on
connection
with the Source of love. Reality is so much easier to embrace when we
are
connected to ourselves and the Divine. We start seeing the lessons and
how
they will deliver us to higher levels of connection.


THE HEALING PROCESS

Healing our inner child is an internal non-verbal process. One way to
do
this is to go into meditation and create a safe, beautiful place to
receive
your child. Call out for all the children in you to come home.
Welcome
them one at a time. Ask individually what is bothering them and simply
listen. Spend loving, patient time with each one. As a parent, take
care
of their needs and make them feel loved. There may be only one or
there may
be many children. They may be the same child at different ages with
different experiences that need healing and attention. Initially this
exercise seemed too mental and a bit phony. But with time I got in
touch
with the critical issues and real healing occurred. It doesn't have
to
take long to do this work. But stick with it until it feels real.
Also
accept connecting with your inner child as an ongoing process and life
long
relationship. Once you reconnect, the goal is to deepen the connection
and
to make the relationship more and more authentic.

One issue that must be examined is your attitude towards feelings and
being
with your feelings in your body. Many people have some program that
tells
them that they should not have feelings, that feelings are bad and
should be
ignored, shamed or blamed. The inner child expresses through feelings.
If
you condemn your feelings, you condemn your inner child. If you
condemn
your inner child, you shut off your connection to your soul. Feelings
are
messages. Through feelings we know what we want. It is the parent in
us
that validates our feelings and takes action to get our needs met.

If you have a problem working with the concept of inner child, just
stay
with and relate to your feelings. You can even treat them like a pet.
Be
kind to your feelings (especially in your gut and belly) and your body.
This is a good practice in our daily lives, even if we can relate to
our
inner child. We can train ourselves to be aware of what we are feeling
in
our body and follow these instincts. Mind and body become integrated
and
start working together. Nothing like mind-body collaboration to feel
self-empowered.

In meditation, I claim my own worth by getting in touch with my
infinity.
Then I use this vast identity to nurture my feelings. I find
establishing a
relationship between my feelings and my own infinity very healing. I
like
to feel my infinite essence and then bathe my feelings with this
energy.
The connection is very soothing. When my feelings, especially in my
abdominal region, are integrated with my Divine identity, I feel that
love
replaces fear. The core fear of abandonment disappears, as I become
emotionally available to myself. Feeling solid and grounded, I am
confident
that I can attract situations that serve my highest good and well-being
and
relationships that are loving and emotionally available.

It is motivating to know that once we have a conscious caring
relationship
with the child within ourselves, we will have internalized a different
pattern
from which we can create fulfilling relationships in the future.


PERSONAL HEALING SESSIONS

It takes time to connect with and heal your inner child. It takes
attention
to feel your true nature as love, joy and peace. Here are some
guidelines
for being with yourself in this special way.

(1) Use your breath to integrate your finite self with your infinite
being.
Breathing in the belly connects your physical source of power (lower
chakras) with the Infinite Source of power. Being with your breath in
your
belly connects "me with Me."

(2) As we cultivate awareness, it is so easy to see how in the past, we
ignored our emotions, overlooked our child and suppressed our feelings.
Emotions are slower than the mind. We have to slow down to be with our
feelings. In a more relaxed space and at a slower pace, we can give
ourselves attention, kindness and compassion.

(3) Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time and is an ongoing
process.
Emotions move slowly. Physical connection happens in stillness. To
connect
with power and love in the moment, we have to feel and be present in
the
moment. Experience happens in the physical-emotional body. Ideas
happen in
the mind. We need to train our minds to hold our attention and
awareness so
we can be present to our moment by moment experiences.

(4) Homecoming happens in the body. Tune into a higher source of love.
Nurture your body and emotions with infinite love, the breath and
soothing
mantras. Realize that you are in the process of reconnecting your body
and
Spirit. You are activating the sensory system of your soul.

(5) Early in my journey, I asked Yogi Bhajan, "How do I experience
God?" He
replied, "Relax and feel it. That is what I did." "Relax and feel
it," is
a good technique to use when you are sitting there wondering how do I
get in
touch with my inner child, how do I feel my infinite self, how do I
connect
with Divine Love. Turn your attention from thinking to feeling and the
unknown becomes known to you.


INDICATORS OF A SHIFT

There are many ways to identify if you have really created an internal
shift. Here are a few.

* You feel calmer, more at peace.
* You feel less afraid and more able to take action for yourself.
* You are more patient with yourself, and take your life at your own
pace.
* It feels safe to let go of what you once clung to. The release gives
you
a sense of freedom and you enjoy the space from which you can create
something new.
* You feel safe. You can trust and surrender to what is.
* You can relax and let your life organically unfold without having to
outguess the future.

* As you stop judging your self, you stop judging others.
* As you become more loving to yourself, you become more compassionate
towards others.
* Once you acknowledge your own feelings, you realize that everyone has
deep
feelings whether they are able to express them or not.
* You recognize that everyone is trying to grow so that they can
experience
love and freedom.
* You can contain the energy of your own emotions and not identify with
others' emotions.
* You start noticing when you are taking care of others' feelings, stop
it
and take care of your own.
* You don't take others' issues personally.
* You stop making excuses for others. You accept their reality as
their
reality and separate it from yours.

* You operate and communicate from clarity of what works for you, not
from
neediness.
* You communicate from an unconditional place without projections of
guilt,
blame or shame.
* You give others room to feel what they feel and do and say what they
need
to do and say.
* You can hold the space of unconditional acceptance and love.
* You want to bless everyone to receive the love they are looking for.


INNER AND OUTER FAMILIES

Everyone requires time alone to do their inner work and to connect with
who
they really are. We need to be alone to expand our capacity to be
consciously aware and to open ourselves up to love unconditionally.
While
the Sun is in Cancer is an ideal time to (1) let there be space, (2)
do our
inner healing, (3) practice and perfect the art of containment and (4)
surrender to higher love.

Isolating ourselves while the Sun is in Cancer can seem very natural.
But
it can also be tricky because Cancer energy also indicates our outer
family.
Some of our family members may still find their identity through their
roles
in the family and society. We probably don't want to alienate our
outer
family because they are usually our support system when all else fails.
If
you choose to spend lots of time alone, you may wish to communicate
with
your support system (friends and family) that you need time alone at
this
time. Set up a time to party when the Sun goes into Leo after July 22.
Do
your best to not judge those who do not understand, and do not care -
take
them at your own expense. Sincere, compassionate communication creates
trust. Blessings everyone helps. Unconditional love heals.

When dealing with our outer family it is interesting to observe how we
have
internalized the way our parents treated us as a child. Is your
internal
mother nagging and shaming? Is your internal father demanding and
critical?
Or is he absent and unavailable to take action for your inner child?
Are
either of them emotionally available to listen with empathy to the
needs and
requests of your inner child? Our internal healing requires that we
shift
the mode of communication between our inner parents and our inner
child.

It is interesting to watch how our internal shifts affect our outer
relationships. When our inner child feels nurtured and is treated with
respect, we feel more peaceful inside ourselves. Our inner state is
mirrored in our relationships. The healing of our inner family is
mandatory
to attain emotional maturity. The process is easier and quicker if we
are
less serious and use a bit of humor. Observing the relationship
between our
inner and outer relationships can be entertaining. Amusing our inner
child
just may be the ticket to healing all members of our family.