From the book "Astrology for Lovers," written by Liz Green.
The Aquarius Lover
songsdomain.tripod.com/aquari...ex.html
Before everyone is talking about the Age of Aquarius and the year 2012 as a kind of New Dispensation, a time when wars would cease and everybody would love everybody else and the New Utopia would arrive, seen through a haze of marijuana smoke, free love, and acid rainbows.
Now, people are still talking about the New Age (of Aquarius), but with a certain unease. It appears to consist now of things like terrorism, revolution of Iran, Arab-Israeli conflict, a diminishing supply of fuel for the world, and general malaise. Did the Age of Aquarius fall flat on its face? Did it ever arrive? And is Aquarius really about love, brotherhood and Flower Power?
Well, yes, in part Aquarius is about love and brotherhood. Or perhaps, we should say, with more accuracy, that it is about ideals - and the ideals of love and brotherhood are among many which are formulated in the forward-looking Aquarian mind. Particularly ideals about the group, the welfare of humanity, the future of society.
Aquarius is also, broadly, about science, and knowledge, and invention, and discoveries which will improve the lot of men in the generations to come. Fraternité, egalité, liberté - the cry of the French Revolution - is in many ways an Aquarian cri de couer. The noblest of human visions are spun from this last of the airy signs, which in its most profound meaning symbolizes the genius of human invention extended to its fullest limits, applied to the control of nature by the will of man and the structuring of humanity into a civilized society.
So what happened to the age of love and brotherhood? The same thing that happens to many Aquarians. The ideal was ahead of its time, as the ideals of many Aquarians all too frequently are. The ideal hit a head-on collision with the reality of human nature, which can't really be explained and governed by ideals alone. Without the ideal, no progress of any kind could take place. Yet the anchoring of an ideal takes time, and flexibility, and a sensitivity to the limitations of human nature. Aquarius is not overly gifted in any of these three things. He is usually impatient, and wants to see the ideal made flesh right this minute. He is not very flexible, although a great lover of truth. And he has very little understanding of, or patience with, the seamier side of human nature.
You can see here the dilemma, the gift and the curse of the Aquarian. His symbol is the Waterbearer. Notice carefully that the Waterbearer carries his jug to offer the water of life to humanity - but doesn't get his own hands wet.
As an air sign, Aquarius finds his reality in his ideals. Because he is concerned with issues that pertain to the group rather than the individual, you can see the traditional Aquarian link with welfare and human rights. Fields like social work and education and politics are natural for the forward-looking Aquarian who wants to set the world to rights. It's truly the sign of liberty, democracy, and human equality.
And Aquarius, as far as his ideals are concerned, is usually truly democratic. One of his nicest qualities is his sense of fairness and integrity. He has a pretty finely honed conscience, which is often so sensitive that it makes his life unbearable. He often has a horror of being what he calls 'selfish', which is very noble but not very psychologically healthy. Regardless of his personal likes and dislikes, his dedication to his beliefs is unshakeable. And this dedication is often to the objective perspective, the broad canvas, a code of ethics or principles by which he believes he should live. And, of course, he is often dedicated to Truth. Yes, it's capitalized, that word Truth. For Aquarius, there is generally only one Truth.
Never mind whether he hates you bitterly. Fair is fair. Aquarius will still deal with you with integrity, because, vile that you are, you're still a human being, and all human beings have certain innate basic rights. Sometimes you'd wish he'd show a little honest unfairness. But no. Fair is fair.
Look at some of the famous Aquarian figures of the past. Abraham Lincoln is one of the best known. Of course it would be an Aquarian who declared equality between black and white in an age of slavery, and abolished slavery with the result of the American Civil War. He was shot for his pains. Many Aquarians suffer the retaliation of the more conservative elements of society for their contributions, which are frequently suspected. You will also see among the distinguished Aquarian names figures like Thomas Edison - great thinkers and inventors whose discoveries are not intended for personal satisfaction or gain, but for the benefit of the human race. Their dedication is absolute; try to find out anything about their personal lives and you're astonished to discover that they seem to have no personal lives. All their energy and ability is taken up with the dedication to the goal, the ideal.
The list of noble, courageous, dedicated idealists is a very long list when it comes to Aquarius. So is the list of scientists and philosophers. Can we say anything at all bad about this sign?
Of course we can. For as we near the end of the zodiac, the signs become increasingly complex. Their extremes become more and more extreme. But the time we get to Aquarius and Pisces, you are dealing with an enormous spectrum of human abilities and foibles. There is an element to Aquarius which can only be described as intellectual bigotry.
That courageous fixity of ideals can become stubborn fanaticism - the rigidly rational scientist with no heart, who is a caricature in this modern age. This is a fellow who invents a new weapon because it's scientifically interesting and immensely effective, without the wit to realize that people don't possess the psychological maturity to handle such a thing with any responsibility. A little closer to home, this is the fellow who doesn't worry about the few people who might be harmed by a faulty nuclear reactor - or who disguises the actual percentage of radioactivity in the atmosphere - because, well, those are only a few little people, and they don't really have anything to do with grand things like Our Country's Defence and Power.
Also in the shadier reaches of Aquarius are to be found the rampant communist who believes in a utopian state where all wealth is leveled and all people equal - without regard to the fact that people are fundamentally different and are emotionally incapable of coping with this. George Orwell's 1984 is a horror story of an Aquarian Age run rampant. Lest we think that the ideals of love and brotherhood as expounded by the more fanatical adherents of the sign are the answer, enforced by a totalitarian state, read and re-read this little book which was once considered science fiction and now looks horribly like prophecy.
posted by:
|
SF Bay Area
|
-
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Sat, July 5, 2008 - 7:59 PM
The Aquarius Lover
We've already said quite a bit about the emotional propensities of Aquarius. Perhaps a little recapping is in order. Remember what we said about the air signs in general: they live in the world of ideas, and tend to be frightened by emotion. This is truer of Aquarius than the other two airy signs because Aquarius is what its called a 'fixed' sign. This means exactly as it sounds. Fixity can also be translated as strength, stubbornness, or rigidity, depending on how extreme it is and whether or not that fixity is in agreement with you or not.
So Aquarius tends to repress his emotions. He often sees his emotions as a weakness, something embarrassing. You might deduce from that that he's not the world's most romantic or effusive lover. He's often charmingly naïve in matters of the heart, and displays a winsome clumsiness which falls in weird counterpoint to his usually
sophisticated ideas. In some ways, it's delightful, because he's usually incapable of playing the Don Juan unless he really means it. And then he's likely to make a somewhat less than suave one. Aquarius' gifts are not known to lie in the realms of courtship and romance.
So we can count sincerity of feeling and loyalty among his virtues. Because he's generally clumsy with emotion, he usually means what he says if he ever does tell you he loves you. Also, Aquarius is a truth-addict. This means, on the other hand, that he doesn't like lying, so you can believe him most of the time. On the other hand, it means you should be careful not to ask for those little declarations of emotional reassurance that lovers need. Instead of the compliment or reassurance, you might get a pronouncement like, 'Well, to be strictly truthful, I don't actually love you at this moment.'
Aquarius' loyalty springs from double-edged sources as well. On the one hand, he's probably more capable than any other sign of adhering to a promise kept. So if he promises fidelity, and means it, he very likely will be - because he's loyal to the ideal. And he does have a lot of self-discipline. On the other hand, his loyalty also springs from the fact that the realm of romantic escapades isn't really his style. He's awkward and unsure of himself in it, and often finds it more relaxing and less troublesome to remain loyal because he can get on with what he enjoys the most - things of the mind. It's not that Aquarius lacks passion. Not at all. But he's not particularly sensuous, and often doesn't spend long hours with his erotic fantasies in the way that you would expect of Taurus and Scorpio and even Pisces. He's busy thinking about the World and what can be done with it.
To balance the scales more in his favour, Aquarius is a truly interesting companion, and he also knows, more than other signs, how to be a friend. This should not be underrated. Friendship often means more to Aquarius than love, partially because he doesn't understand love - it's too complicated and problematic, and he has trouble defining it - and partially because friendship's ideals are easier to uphold. So Aquarius, man or woman, can be a wonderful friend in all the senses of the word.
He is loyal and honourable, and is capable of much self-sacrifice; he cares about other people, and so long as you don't expect him to participate in your emotional scenes, he's a wonderful listener and a careful, objective advisor. No friend could be more friendly or tolerant, or understanding. In marriage or a love relationship, this quality of detached and undemanding friendship is often a true blessing. It means you can have your own ideas, think your own thoughts, discuss things, have companionship and camaraderie without the clutter of an expectation of roles, or a lot of emotional possessiveness.
Aquarius, although he has as much jealousy in him as anybody else, will very rarely show it. He will rarely even admit it. He appears to be the least possessive of lovers. Don't let it fool you. But on the other hand, it doesn't intrude. If he believes in letting his partner have freedom, then by God he'll make sure he grants it, even if it minces his gut to pieces unconsciously.
If you're looking for a great deal of sentiment and romance, stay away from Aquarius. You're more likely to have lengthy political and ideological discussions, and very few whispered and sweet nothings. On the other hand, if you seek a friend as a lover, Aquarius puts the other signs to shame. He's genuinely interested in people, and genuinely interested in you. Just don't try the heavily emotional approach. And buy yourself flowers.
-
-
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Sat, July 5, 2008 - 8:00 PM
And what about the individual Aquarian? Well, typically, he encompasses these two extremes - genuine love and concern for the welfare of the group, and personal intellectual bigotry. His ideals and his true sense of democracy are immediately noticeable. Even the non-political Aquarian who lives an ordinary life and doesn't concern himself with movements, will often be found defending the underdog in his business. His ideals often make Aquarius stand out by a head above the crowd. He thinks about other people, about their needs and potential. Or maybe we should say he truly thinks - a rare commodity in an age of slogans and opinions.
On the other hand, he doesn't much like individuals. Aquarius is the fellow who loves humanity and doesn't like people. He can be brusque, cool, unfeeling, insensitive, rigid, dogmatic, and downright stupid when it comes to the subtleties of human relationships. He can stand by principles when principles are the least relevant thing in the situation. His fairness can be blindly infuriating when what is most needed is a little bias. In those typical situations where you're hurt by someone else's offhand remark, and turn to your Aquarian for sympathy, and get a pronouncement fit for a trial where point by point the reasonableness of the remark is discussed, it's a wonder there aren't more Aquarians murdered every day.
Aquarius is often embarrassed by emotion, and finds it distasteful both in himself and in others. I've known quite a few Aquarian women who consider it shameful to cry; this sign is proud and self-controlled, and displays of emotion are seen as a weakness. Those tears that according to romantic novels melt the hearts of the hardest men don't work terribly well on Aquarians. After you've sniffed delicately into your lace handkerchief and looked up at him with moist dewy eyes, you may find either that he's quietly left the room during your fit, or that he's got his newspaper out and is reading about the political situation in Uganda.
Or he may sit quietly and watch you, and then, when you're certain he's about to tell you he really loves you after all, or that he understands, or that he's sorry he hurt you, he opens his mouth and says, 'Good! Now that you've finished, we can discuss this reasonably. I do so hate it when you get irrational like that.' And when you're about to throw the teapot at him in a screaming rage because he hasn't understood at all, he'll look at you coolly and say, 'Now, don't throw another scene, it's really selfish, you know. Can't we talk about something else?
People are suffering and dying all over the world. Did you know that the Tanzanian troops waited three days outside Kampala so that the inhabitants could escape? I think that's really a humanitarian thing to do.' Having made you feel utterly and abjectly guilty for having been so emotional in the first place, he can indulge in a little smug self-satisfaction, because he succeeded in keeping his mind on the Really Important Things.
Obviously, not all Aquarians are this unfeeling. Aquarian women in particular have an immense capacity for devotion and loyalty. But here too it's so bound up with their ideas and their ethics that they often don't adjust very well to the changes and nuances of relationships. And most important, with all this obsession about the rights of others and what they ought to do and be, they forget about themselves - to such an extent that they mince their own emotions to pieces through simple lack of expression. -
-
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Sat, July 5, 2008 - 8:06 PM
Here's a little scenario to illustrate the point. We might call this the Noble Soul syndrome.
AQUARIAN TO FRIEND: I'm fine, thanks. A little tired, that's all.
It was an awful lot of work moving into the new house, and getting the kids ready for their new school.
FRIEND: But last time I saw you, I thought you said you didn't like that house. You weren't going to take it.
AQUARIAN: Well, it's much more convenient for John's work. It only takes him twenty-minutes. With the other place, it would have been an hour and a half commuting.
FRIEND: But what about you? You said you hated the neighbourhood, and the shops aren't very nice, and….
AQUARIAN: Oh, I was just being silly. Selfish, you know. I'm terribly selfish like that. I should never have gone on like that. John always Comes First. After all, where would I be if I always thought of myself? My mother always told me never to be Selfish, it's the worst thing you can do. A Good Mother always thinks of her husband and children first. No, the house is just right for John.
This is very noble. Truly good. But our Aquarian, if you see her a few years later, is liable to be a little messed up. She might be on Librium, to keep her nerves from acting up. She might have high blood pressure, or have developed a few nervous habits like a tic, or compulsive cleaning. All that natural aggression has been submerged. And when you track her into old age, she's had to become incredibly rigid to keep all that stuff repressed for so many years. She's gone cold by then. That's when Aquarian goes fanatic. When years and years of being Unselfish and adhering to Right Behaviour have made a dog's breakfast of heir spontaneity and love of life.
Aquarians often has a wonderful gift for logic. He can discuss things reasonably, rationally, and often brilliantly. So when you challenge him - or present an emotional grievance - he has it all sorted out to begin with. He can work it out rationally, analytically. He's got all the answers. He has a gift for analysis of human temperament - many Aquarians reach prominence in the psychological field - so he can tell you exactly what your motives are, why you said this, why you said that, and what the solution is to the problem. It's so neat and pat it makes you swoon with admiration.
The trouble is, there's no room for any emotion in it. I've had discussions with psychologically 'aware' Aquarians who have taken an interest in the whole realm of the human psyche. They can list their complexes, use all the latest jargon, draw the latest psychological maps. The human being like an airplane or an automobile or a well-constructed society, operates on certain basic principles. There isn't any room for chance, or fuzzy edges. Emotion has fuzzy edges. People to Aquarians are mechanisms - wonderful, divine mechanisms, but nonetheless mechanisms. And that well-read Aquarian who knows all the latest about the psyche, while he can discuss it with brilliance, often doesn't know anything about himself at all.
It's because he doesn't know what he feels, what he thinks he ought to feel, what he thinks he should and shouldn't feel, and he thinks you can think about what he thinks he feels. Confused? You should see the Aquarian in the midst of all that. Simple phrases, like 'I love you' or 'I hate you' or 'I'm bloody angry with you' are very difficult for him.
The fact is, Aquarians have very deep and complex emotional natures. It isn't that they have no feelings. It's that they are often frightened of their feelings. Aquarius is a true air sign. What can be understood by the mind is safe, because you can reason it out. What can't be understood is often relegated to the realm of the 'imaginary' or the 'emotional', dreaded or simply reasoned out of existence.
Is there room for any romance in this formidable temperament? Yes, but it's usually unconscious. Aquarius is often very embarrassed and awkward - you might even see him blush - when the subject turns to romantic matters. This is the fellow who, out of sheer embarrassment, will neglect to give his woman flowers during twenty years of marriage. He often can't understand the need for flattery, compliments, sentimental displays of affection. Everything has to have a reason. He may love deeply - but he won't show it very often, Yet he is capable of sacrificing his own life for a loved one. -
-
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Sun, July 6, 2008 - 10:31 PMSo how would an unemotional or cooly detached aquarian be if his moon sign was in watery scorpio? -
-
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Tue, July 8, 2008 - 8:40 PMMaybe like me - I tend to be a bit like a swinging pendulum moving back and forth regularly or not so regularly from my mental space to my emotional space. I'd be awfully embarrassed if the fly on my wall was actually a little spy-cam. I can fluctuate between logical thinking in one second and emotional weepiness in another in private. In public I expend a lot of energy in keeping a placid and seemingly calm exterior all the while choking back emotions for fear of being judged as irrational, except when the occasion is socially acceptable to cry such as when watching a tear jerker movie in the dark (must be surreptitious with wiping my eyes though), or at funerals or weddings. -
-
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Tue, July 8, 2008 - 9:56 PMso are you an aquarian with scorpio moon? what is your sun, moon, rising, venus, mercury, and mars if you do not mind my asking. And you described how I imagined one would be in response to my question but I wasnt sure I wanted to hear from personal experience. Someone I care deeply about is this and she does as you said and covers her emotions...but she also has aries rising and they do not like to show emotions either. -
-
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Tue, July 8, 2008 - 10:42 PMDon't mind you asking. I'm Aqua sun, Scorp moon, Sag rising, Sag Mars, Cap Venus, Aqua Mercury. Sun and Merc in H3, Moon in H12.
My apology for bringing my personal experience. That's all I have.
I don't mind showing emotions...if they are the "light" kind. It's only when I feel vulnerable and naked do I make an effort to control them from public view, especially from surroundings and folks with whom I have yet to feel safe. It's security issue on my part - a sense of mental as well as emotional inadequacy sometimes that makes me want to hide from others, but really it's a hiding from myself. If my partner understands my mood swings (because having a H12 moon, I don't often understand myself well enough to say "okay, need to go into my cave again now") and let's me ride out my emotional experiences...alone...then I can come back and be alive and vibrant, and even share what happened to me and what I may have learned along the way.
All this any help, or did I just make it more challenging? I hope the former. -
-
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Tue, July 8, 2008 - 10:44 PMSorry, I meant Mars in Sag, Venus in Cap, Merc in Aqua. -
-
This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Wed, July 9, 2008 - 8:55 PMWell you definately described more of your moon and it being in the 12th house...but your planets in the signs is very similar to my friends...she is a sun aqu, moon scorp, aries rising, mars and merc aqua and venus cap as well...the difference being her moon and pluto are both in her 7th. I am thinking this my make her a tad bit emotional and moody as well or maybe her partners she attracts are. We have a very unique relationship...lol...go figure with the signs from above hahah but Im nervous its going to remain open ended and thats going to be a challenge for me Im not sure I can do that. Im looking for something a tad more concrete...and the face she shows is so unattached but i feel her so I know shes interested I just dont know if she is capable of anything more than on again off again. Guess I was tryin to get a feel from someone else who had that sun and moon how they relate to others in relationships..and now i see your venus is the same as well...what do you think? -
-
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Thu, July 10, 2008 - 11:31 AMThe Aquarians I've been involved with (and there were a number since this seems to be the sign I like) were all much, much more emotional and committal than I was. Hmmm Maybe it was their moons, but they weren't water moons. They had Taurus, Capricorn and Cancer. I'm a Taurus moon myself so I suppose that's why we clicked.
Anyway, I found almost all of the write up to be true except the expression of love and sentiment. All of my Aquarians had that in abundance. Flowers, teddy bears, jewelry, trips, etc. Very giving and caring. Told me quite openly they loved me. That was contrary to all their other relationships. Aquarians (at least the ones I've known) are very honest about everything including their pasts. They were very cool and detached in their pasts. Who knows, maybe I acted so Aquarian myself it made them act differently. I guess it could be the synastry. They are different but I am addicted to them. Besides, normal men wouldn't like me anyway. I certainly could never be in a "normal" relationship myself.
One thing I will say having known as many as I have - if they don't commit it's because they don't want to commit. They are brutally honest and people only run into problems with them when they think they are saying one thing while they are feeling another. They aren't. They say what they mean. They also think if they tell you they are just dating you and not committing that you accept that and they won't understand if you blow up when they say it's over. I have lived through all the old girlfriends calling and showing up because they thought there was more going on than there was and the Aquarian guy shutting down from all of their emotional displays. It's not pretty. I used to feel sorry for them, but the truth is they made the mistake of not listening to the Aquarian when he told them.
Could be different with a woman, but the Aquarian women I've known have had a hard time finding the one and problems with partners not letting go as well. -
-
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Thu, July 10, 2008 - 5:46 PMCould be different with a woman, but the Aquarian women I've known have had a hard time finding the one and problems with partners not letting go as well.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is true for me, Zanne. It took me several journeys to find my way to my current partnership; I believe this is an enduring one. And lots of painful, dramatic ending scenes with previous partners because neither one of us had the strength nor the courage to make clean breaks.
-
-
Re: The Aquarius Lover
Thu, July 10, 2008 - 3:03 PMWell you definately described more of your moon and it being in the 12th house...but your planets in the signs is very similar to my friends...she is a sun aqu, moon scorp, aries rising, mars and merc aqua and venus cap as well...the difference being her moon and pluto are both in her 7th. I am thinking this my make her a tad bit emotional and moody as well or maybe her partners she attracts are. We have a very unique relationship...lol...go figure with the signs from above hahah but Im nervous its going to remain open ended and thats going to be a challenge for me Im not sure I can do that. Im looking for something a tad more concrete...and the face she shows is so unattached but i feel her so I know shes interested I just dont know if she is capable of anything more than on again off again. Guess I was tryin to get a feel from someone else who had that sun and moon how they relate to others in relationships..and now i see your venus is the same as well...what do you think?
--------------------------------------------------------
O.k., I'll only speak about my experience with having said signs in my chart because I am largely ignorant of astrology and its effects (even with my love for the subject). I am hoping that the experts will come forward to offer more astrological viewpoints to direct you.
Her detachment might be something else beyond having an Aqua sun. I don't really know how I'm perceived, but I've read about the famous Aquarian detachment. I can be detached, like anyone else. But this is me. I'll use the term "you" in general. If I seem detached, it's because I'm experiencing a bunch of stuff inside me that keeps me focused within. Sometimes, it could be because I am clueless that I'm affecting a certain type of behaviour. If I like you and you make me feel safe, I would always be nattering about something or other because I'm always learning about something or other about myself or the world around me. If I clam up, it's because something happened that's causing me to emote and I'm processing. Maybe you verbally or non-verbally expressed criticism over something to do with me or with an underdog of society. If you care about me and trust that I care about you, you will wait until I have figured out the matter and trust that I will share it with you. If you and I have gone through hell together and come out more deeply committed to one another, then I will always be telling you and showing you how much you mean to you. I would show it through physical gestures like touching you, kissing you, cooking for you, doing things for you that I know you would enjoy or appreciate. I am often quite shy about expressing my dark emotions for fear of being rejected. I need open-minded and non-judgemental understanding. In return, I offer a listening ear, humourous companionship, and sometimes decent insights. I love black and white movies because they depict an era of romantic behaviour that I find appealing. I am a deeply romantic person, but am very shy to admit it. I have a healthy and robust private life and imagination, but am very shy to express it in public. My partner is beautiful, and I started falling for him deeper and deeper after every encounter we had because of how respectful he was with me. I found his intelligence, his wit, his artistic flair and his decency compelling. I am easily influenced and thus must be careful of the people and situations with which I surround myself. If you like me and you express doubts (verbally or non-verbally) about whether I am partner material for you, then I will subconsciously work to fulfill your doubts. If you believe there is a more than good chance for us to be together, then I will help carry that energy through with you. I need a partner who has my best interest at heart, is strong, knows what he wants and where he is going because I often lack that in myself. It goes without saying on my part that when I love, I love deeply and whole-heartedly. Sometimes I'm accused of overwhelming my partner with my love for and happiness with him, so I withdraw a little and watch for the signal that he's ready for my lovey-dovey ways again.
Was that any help? Did that answer your question? The above is an example of my Mercury in Aquarius. Oops.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
